Archive for the ‘humor’ Tag

What am I even doing on dating sites?

Tuesday, August 21st, 2018

I turned 31 last week. I started online dating a couple weeks before that. The whole thing is like an alternate universe, and I need an outlet to explore and share these experiences. That’s where you come in, reader! Thank you for stumbling upon my quaint little blog! Get ready for a real trip, cause’ this sucker is one.

In the past 2 weeks I’ve ‘seriously’ talked to 6 guys. The first guy “S” ghosted me day 2, the second “B” talked me up a storm day one, talked to me on the phone for two hours day two and then faded into oblivion and when I said I wasn’t interested in ‘chasing’ him (and I really had given up by then) he said he didn’t mind still talking he’s just not 100% effort-ing right now, but I still see him on POF (it’s a dating website) probably talking it up to chicks who are hotter than him. Today he didn’t even text me once, so yeah that’s probably a wipe, which is a shame because I liked him initially.

Then the third guy “R” I really vibed with. This guy I talked to, stopped talking to, and then started talking to again and we COMPLETELY hit it off via text. Now I hadn’t felt so connected to someone in over a year (I finally decided I didn’t want to die alone and my ex of several years wasn’t coming back and even if he was he’s a cheating dickhead and I don’t need that in my life) and I was rooting for us. The only thing was that he wasn’t my ‘type’. He looks kind of like an average guy with an average build and a beard. I’m not about beards. I like skinny white guys with little to no facial hair. There. I said it, I have no shame. You don’t know me anyway. 

I also went on a date. It was with “R”. It was horrible. He smelled like moth balls and I pretended I was hot so I could put the window down in my car. I came up with a ‘rule system’ when we first met up that we’d only have a 1 hour date (ours lasted 45 minutes) where we’d kind of feel each other out and not say anything either good or bad about the experience until we were both home and then decide whether or not there was going to be a second date. 

I let him down as gently as possible which is hard to do when you’re shooting someone down. I told him that as much as I wanted us to have the same chemistry in person as we did via text it just wasn’t there and I’m sorry. I didn’t want to waste his time and I don’t have a reason to waste my own nor did I need to at all tell him the more horrifying reasons WHY we didn’t vibe in person, but he was ‘salty’ about it as my best friend called it, and I felt bad. Still do and that was two days ago now. Haven’t heard from him since. 

Mind you, when I thought “R” was a candidate for actual dating, I stopped talking to other dudes on POF. 

There was a guy “D” who was a bit younger than me and seemed a bit cocky, he was really sweet it turned out but had already scheduled two dates for two weeks in a row and told me he didn’t want to juggle a third woman and apologized. I told him if his dates don’t go well to shoot me a message. Shame.

So then there’s this guy “M” who I haven’t heard from all day, but had been talking to on POF as well as via text the past few days and I thought we had hit it off pretty well. I learned by this point mind you that you don’t badger people with texts if they don’t text back. You just have to hope on ‘their turn’ they do text back, and that you didn’t do something wrong. May I retract that and say “something wrong” as in something that turned the other person off about you. This guy took about 24 hours to text me though after I had initially given him my number, so there’s still a chance he’ll text me in the next 24. If it goes beyond that I’ll assume it’s a dead end.

This guy “Z” was pretty handsome that messaged me yesterday and I started off talking with him. He kind of fell off the map today, so there’s that.

And currently I’m talking to a guy “W” who seems a little dull honestly, but is alright looking and I’m just really angry all of the other crap I’ve invested in that I just told you about hasn’t panned out at all. But dating in general is hard. Once I turned 30 I knew ‘you’re either going to have to start dating or die alone at this point’ so I ignored the dating part hoping my ex would make a turnaround, it didn’t happen. I used Bumble for half a year with no one EVER responding, and so I started POF and OKC. 

So there. That’s about a week’s worth of wrap up here. I have to tell myself that if all that can happen to me in a week that there have got to be some other prospects out there, and I’m still hoping “M” gets back to me, that “B” would stop being a little bitch, or that “W” ends up interested. If nothing else, it’s nice to have someone to talk to who might theoretically be into you a little bit. 

Well, that’s round one of stories for you. Tune back in tomorrow for any SO INTERESTING new updates.